Your Child, Their Teacher, and You: A Team For School Success (Back-To-School Lesson 6)

You have to know your child's teacher, preferably before "Open School night." Definitely before they have to contact you to address a problem that arises. There are several reasons for this. Your child needs to know that you feel his school life is important enough for you to be involved; and that you KNOW what's going on in class (children occasionally mislead their parents about what's expected of them in class). If you have a relationship with the teacher you can intervene more quickly and effectively if problems arise, including being able to respond to your child if they raise an issue with you, like: "My teacher is mean, ... too strict;" or "My teacher says we don't have to study that much;" or even, "Mr. Jones says video games are good for us." The teacher should know that you are supporting her expectations, as well as knowing that you are advocating for your child when needed.

It's a good idea to have phone contact with the teacher by the second or third week of school. Make it clear to them that you want to be contacted if they have any concerns about your child's behavior or school work. Find out when is a good time to reach them if you have a concern. Unless there has been a problem, I think you don't need a face-to-face meeting until Open School Night. If a problem does arise, respond immediately, in person (if possible). Include your child, and develop a plan which includes each person's responsibility, i.e.. yours, your child's, and the teacher's. Consequences (for everyone) should be understood, though maybe not always stated. For example, if the teacher doesn't do his part, they are going to see a lot more of you, and if necessary, so will the principal. Again, you don't have to threaten them with consequences, as this may negatively influence the relationship between the teacher and your child. This is a team, and you are the coach. Sometimes more involved (when needed), usually not as involved if things are working well. Let everyone do their jobs. That's how a team works best. Remember to give them credit for the good work that they do. And, stay involved, more or less as needed.