School's Out Soon. What To Do...

The happiest day of my life used to be the last day of school. I can't be specific, but I'm sure I learned a lot during my summer vacations, mostly in Cape May, New Jersey (much different than summer in NY City). Plan some of what you want your children to learn this summer, and structure it. For example, if your child's had difficulty calling out in class (or other attention seeking), have them practice controlling that impulse at home a few times per week . And make it rewarding. If he can sit in the kitchen (maybe while you're doing something there), for 30 minutes (two 15 minute segments) and practice raising his hand and waiting for you to 'call' on him, he gets a special privilege. Let him practice relaxation breathing (see my post of 3/1/11, Take A Moment... Breathe...) to learn to control his impulses during this exercise.

There are a lot of things our kids can learn during this time off. In addition to reading, and practicing math problems (for a few minutes daily), you can help them learn good studying habits, less defiance, controlling whining and tantrums, to eat more healthily, improve social skills. I know, it's not sounding like fun, yet. These practice sessions can be fun for the child, especially if you're practicing your new and improved 'special rewards' system(s). But your fun really comes when you are less stressed by not getting phone calls from her teachers, or improved grades, better behavior, your child's improved self-esteem. If there are particularly stubborn bad behavior habits that you and your child haven't had time to address during the busy school year, now's the time to get some help with it. In some cases kids who have been working on issues in counseling during the school year, take a vacation from the work during the summer. Often the old habits return when school (and the school stress) starts again. By all means, the summer break should be an enjoyable time for your family, use it wisely.

EASIER-THAN-IT-LOOKS Recipe: HOT ARTICHOKE DIP

No matter which team you want to win the Super Bowl (my team is out of it), you will want to serve your guests tasty foods that are easy to make (and possibly healthy!). I have here a yummy Artichoke Dip that our neighbors made every year for our building Christmas party. Here's the Easier-Than-It-Looks Recipe.

HOT ARTICHOKE DIP

Ingredients:

2 15 Oz. cans unmarinated artichoke hearts

1 1/2 cups mayonnaise

2 cups parmesan cheese (grated)



Preparation Instructions:

Drain the artichoke hearts and shred into small pieces. Place in a casserole dish. Mix in mayonnaise, then parmesan cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Serve hot with crackers or bread of your choice.

That was easy!


A couple of other dishes that you might want to serve are Touchdown Taco Dip (see my posting of 7/19/08), and Lisa's Satisfying Spinach Balls (see my posting of 5/26/08). ENJOY THE GAME!

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE MORE POSITIVITY THIS YEAR?

Elevate your level of Positivity! Really. That's one of my goals this year. And I am sure that this will increase my success and happiness this year. Yours too (I mean, if you do it). Now, as you know I'm already a pretty positive person. And I do feel that I've reaped some of the benefits of that. But there is always room for improvement. By Positivity, I mean, in what we think, say and do. It mostly includes optimism (anticipating good outcomes in the future), positive thinking (focusing more on the good things in life, ie. seeing the glass as half full, rather than half-empty), and hope (a general sense that we can be happy in our lives). The cost of doing this is minimal, and the benefits are enormous.


Optimism about the future is the opposite of worrying about what's going to happen. When you anticipate positive outcomes you live life more confidently, more assertively. For example, if you are optimistic about the outcome of a job interview, or a new relationship, you tend to be more relaxed, more self-assured, and ultimately more successful. What you focus on tends to play itself out in your life. I am not suggesting that you walk around in denial, and have unrealistic expectations. However, you can at least balance your thoughts of the negative possibilities with thoughts of positive opportunities. Little to lose, and lots to gain.


Positive Thinking is taking note of the positive things in life, at least as much as you give attention to negative things in life. When offered the choice of focusing on the fullness of "the glass" (ie. half empty or half full), we often tend to focus on what's missing. For example, our kids come home with A's, B's and C's on their report card, and we spend more time chastising them for the A's they didn't get, rather than showing our appreciation for the A's they did earn. It has become our nature. When it's cold we miss the heat, and when it's hot we complain and wish it were cooler. Of course I exaggerate. But there are at least as many positive things about life, as there are negative. I know some of the negatives seem to take over our lives sometimes, and it usually has more drama associated with it. But the positives about ourselves and the people we care about, will enhance our lives and relationships. It will help us appreciate the people and things that we have, as opposed to missing, and yearning for the things (and relationships) that we don't have. There's a lot of happiness to gain from that.


Overall, I see hope as the most valuable asset. It seems to me to be a deeper, more spiritual level of positivity. It includes positive thinking and optimism about life in general and what to expect for the future. Hope is knowing that goodness is right, and that what is right will ultimately win out. So, for example, the wars that we shouldn't be fighting will end. People who are hungry will be able to eat. It requires a bit of denial, so we can continue to expect that the bad times will pass. A lot of people deal with hopelessness. Do not stay there too long. THERE ARE THINGS TO BE HOPEFUL ABOUT. Have some friends help you figure that out, even if you've had some losses.

Elevating your level of positivity this year will elevate your life.

Two Thousand Eleven

'Twas the night before the New Year, 2011.

I look up to the stars, up into the heavens.

I say to myself, "Do I need some New Year's resolutions?"

To keep my life on track, is that the solution?

Tradition says to come up with 10 things to do.

But I know from experience that one can get the best of you.

So I think I'll come up with a new approach this year.

1 goal with 10 baby steps shouldn't be too much to bear.

My 2011 New Year's Resolution will be,

to move into the future with Information Technology.

Including the internet, iphones, ipads, even Wii.

It does seem like a lot, OMG!

I have to lol at myself, I don 't know what I'm getting into.

Maybe step 1 is figuring out what I'll actually have to do.

But wait a minute. I can text, and e-mail. I have a lap top.

I have my own website, and I have this blog.

No, I'm not on Facebook. I've left that alone.

But I can use the video and camera on my phone.

My ipod is goovin'. I don't need the itouch.

I think that some of this stuff is just too dang much!

Maybe with IT, what I already know (and don't) is fine.

Anymore that I need, I'm sure I'll get with time.

I think for now I'll stay where I am.

In fact, I've already come up with a better plan.

I'm gonna do what I do, and work really hard at that.

I'll eat healthier, and exercise more (find my hidden abs 6-pack).

I'll be more caring and kind , even in difficult situations.

I'll listen better, be more understanding, with friends and family relations.

More vacations, more beach time, more fun when I can.

That seems like enough of a 2011 plan.

As the new year approaches join me as I prepare,

And make time to be a BETTER YOU in this Happy New Year.

For more of my seasonal rhymes, see my blog: Two Weeks Before Chistmas (12/1/09); A New Year's Jingle (12/22/08); 'Twas The Night After Christmas (12/2/07, 12/12/07).

EASIER-THAN-IT-LOOKS Recipe: PUMPKIN PANCAKES

It's the Holidays! How you do the Holidays depends on how you were raised, and the traditions you've developed over the years. These delicious, easy to make pumpkin pancakes are a great seasonal breakfast treat. And it's healthy. But more on the pancakes later. Yes, these pancakes will be a great addition to your family holiday traditions. However, for too many families there's a family tradition that can be eliminated,: The DRAMA! We don't need it.

Individuals and families develop a lot of emotional and relational baggage in the course of a lifetime. However families can provide a lot of emotional support, and provide strength to family members (and family friends). Love and happiness should be the plan at this time of the year (and all year!), especially when people don't live nearby or you don't see them often enough. Unfortunately, people bring their baggage. We fall into old family habits that create tension, and stress during a time that we're supposed to be taking a break from that. We need to be celebrating. Focus on enjoying each other this holiday season. And enjoy some tasty, nutritious, easy Pumpkin Pancakes.

PUMPKIN PANCAKES

Ingredients:

2 cups of your favorite dry pancake mix (whole wheat mix worked well)

1 1/2 cups milk

1 cup canned pure pumpkin puree (not pie filling)

1 egg, beaten

1 Tbsp vegetable oil, plus more for the pan

Optional Ingredients: (I didn't find the need to use these additional ingredients below. The pumpkin was sweet enough, with a strong flavor without these.)

3 Tbsp dark-brown sugar

2 1/2 tsp pumpkin-pie spice

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Add the ingredients to a large bowl. Stir until mostly smooth.

2. Heat a large lightly oiled frying pan or griddle. Pour the batter onto the griddle, using approx 1/4 cup for each pancake. Cook the pancakes until bubbles form in the batter and the edges begin to brown. Then flip them and cook until the other sides are lightly browned.

3. Serve with your favorite pure maple or Agave syrup.

(this recipe was adapted from MEN'S HEALTH Magazine, Oct. 2010)

Enjoy these pumpkin pancakes this holiday season, and enjoy each other!

The "bacon" in the picture is made of soy (put out by Morningstar Farms), tasty too!

Childhood Stress (Part 2: for Teenagers)

Grown-ups are often reluctant to acknowledge that young people get stressed too. Maybe partly because grown-ups, including parents sometimes contribute to your stress. It's interesting that they can also help you relieve that stress, if they make themselves available, and listen to you without criticizing. You have to do your part, though. Learn what stresses you. For example peer pressure to do things that may not be good for you; school and tests, if you're not prepared; parents treating you like you are younger than you are, or expecting too much from you; and other things that upset you. Learn what stress does to you. It can make you sick. Make you do things without thinking them through first, or without considering the consequences (like getting into trouble). Make you mad at people that may have nothing to do with the situation. Stress can make you try to escape through drugs/alcohol or unhealthy activities. Yes, stress can be messed up. But you CAN handle it.

Before you let stress get the best of you, figure out how to handle it better. Choose your friends carefully. If you notice them bringing you down constantly or trying to pull you into situations that you know are not good for you, dump them. Take responsibility for yourself, what you say and do. Followers are more stressed. Have people in your life that you trust. They'll help you see different possible ways to deal with problems. Some parents, or other adults are good for this. Know that you are important, valuable even. So you deserve to be healthy, and happy. If you are not, DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT. Also people who think positively, are less stressed and more successful. Focus on your strengths, even though people around you may try to point out your faults. Those things that challenge you (and stress you), are opportunities for you to be stronger. You may be surprised at how good you can really be.

Childhood Stress (Part 1: for Parents)

Yes, kids do have stress. And it is important to pay attention to it for some very good reasons. Including being able to help them learn to manage it healthily. As well as helping children avoid some of the negative effects of stress, including health problems (or making health conditions worse), delinquent behavior, alcohol and drug use, poor academic performance, and other behavior problems. I would say that over 90% of the children I've treated over the past 25 years presented with problems caused or exacerbated by stress in their lives. Children react to family crises, deaths, severe illness, and other traumatic events. However, they are also effected by the stress of family conflict, peer pressure, parental rules and expectations, school work and tests, and much more. Recall the stress of our childhoods. Similar to what effects children today in society (wars, crime, etc.), amplified by the media (and 24-hour per day news reporting), computers and the Internet.

Communication with your child gives them an outlet, and an opportunity to process their thoughts and feelings with someone they trust. Learn to listen to your children starting early. Situations will stress them differently as they grow. They need to have you available to them throughout their childhood and teenage years. Otherwise, certainly by the time they're teenagers, they will look for their answers outside of the home. Look for these signs of poor stress management: tantrums or other angry outbursts, declining grades, behavior problems (at school, home or the community), frequent health problems, drug or alcohol use, bad dreams or other sleep disturbance, bed wetting. Help your child by teaching them to relax, get exercise, eat and drink right, develop diverse interests, develop good study habits, learn to consider the consequences of their behavior, be age appropriately responsible for what they do and say. Of course, if you manage your stress well, and value the importance of stress management, you will be a good role model.

Next posting: Childhood Stress (Part 2: For Teenagers)