Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Live Your Life

All of us have rules, or values, or ways of thinking about life that guide us forward. Too often there are fears, and old scars that interfere with doing things that might make us happier, or benefit us in some way. They hold us back. I say, LIVE YOUR LIFE. I mean that you should stop and think about what would make you happy in your life (if you don't already have that), and examine why it is that you are not moving closer to your objectives. For now, let's eliminate the obvious external limitations, like the economy, and the various responsibilities (job, parenting, etc.) that we have. I am referring more to the internal limitations that we allow. And for the most part, we have made choices that require the responsibilities we have.

For example: A middle-aged woman has had a job for 15 years, where she mostly worked out of the office, or at home. Loves her job. They're expanding, and she is the best candidate to travel to near-by cities to set up new offices. A great opportunity for her. She's afraid of flying. She gets anxious. Won't fly. Makes up excuses to her boss. Loses her job.

A man, a little older, has been with his wife for 22 years. He's had suspicions that she has been cheating on him for the past 3 years. He loves her. He doesn't believe in divorce (his parents stayed together in spite of problems they had), and is afraid to be alone. He's getting depressed.

There are many more examples of people not making choices that would improve their happiness because of fears, or beliefs that we have, many of which were developed in childhood. This includes people not pursuing career opportunities, avoiding new relationships (or staying in unhealthy, or even dangerous relationships), or tolerating otherwise intolerable life situations. Resolve whatever issues are interfering with your happiness. Often people are not aware of the obstacles that are causing them to remain stuck. Challenge yourself. Take a real look at your life, and notice what aspects of your life (big and small) you are not happy with. Consider what's holding you back, and start to take some action. Often when we confront fears, or identify values/beliefs that no longer apply to our current life situation, we can take a small step towards overcoming those obstacles. Unburden yourself (or get some help). LIVE YOUR LIFE.