Saturday, June 23, 2012

BOOK REVIEW: Have A New Kid By Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman

          I just read this book Have A New Kid By Friday,  by Dr. Kevin Leman, and I liked it.  It was easy to read and understand, and will help you be a more effective parent especially if your kid can be difficult sometimes.  This is for parents of kids (young and old) who are still living in YOUR house. And his plan actually describes what to do each day of the week (Monday through Friday) to see dramatic changes in your child's Attitude, Behavior and Character.  Here is his "Top Ten Countdown to Having a New Kid by Friday."

10.  Be 100% consistent in your behavior.
 9.   Always follow through on what you say and what you do.
 8.   Respond, don't react.
 7.   Count to 10 ask yourself, "What would my old self do in this situation? What should the new me do?"
 6.   Never threaten your kids. 
 5.   Never get angry. (When you do get angry, apologize quickly.)
 4.   Don't give any warnings.  (If you warn your child, you're saying, "You're so stupid, I have to tell you twice.")
 3.   Ask yourself, "Whose problem is this" (Don't own what isn't yours.)
 2.  Don't think the misbehavior will go away.
 1.  Keep a happy face on, even when you want to ... do something else.

You're right if you are thinking this won't be easy for you.  It will mean changing some of your parenting habits.  Believe me, IT WILL BE WORTH IT!  This book uses a lot of examples of difficult situations, and solutions using this approach.  If you need for your child to change their behavior (and feel better about themselves), try this. 

Sunday, June 10, 2012

The Glass Is Not Empty (reprinted from 3/11/2008)

As you know, I like to look at the glass as being half full, rather than half empty. I am an optimist. I want to focus on what I've got, rather than what I don't. Think positive. That's me. Nowadays that gets difficult. In addition to my Miami Heat losing all the time, there's been some really bad things happening in the world lately. First of all, the war, the bad economy, and the other things that need to be fixed in our country, seem to be taken for granted. That's sad. Also very sad is that people are leaving their houses, maybe to go to a Wendy's, meeting misfortune, and never returning home. And college students are going to class, and randomly being shot dead. I'm sorry that this brings you down. It makes me sad too. Unfortunately, there's too many of these stories, daily. How do you keep from getting depressed about this state of affairs? How do you stay positive and optimistic when there's so much sadness that we seem to have no control over?

I think that part of the answer is that we have to make happiness happen in our lives, daily. Make the relationships work that are supposed to be loving and happy. Stop tolerating behavior from people that is unacceptable (this includes family and friends). Do good things, big and small. The fact is that there is actually more good happening in the world than there is bad. The bad gets more publicity, and bombards us daily through the media. But there is good out there, even close to us. See it. Feel it. At least be aware of the good stuff enough to balance out the bad. After all, the good is really more important and meaningful than the bad. If you can't allow yourself to see that the glass really is half full, at least acknowledge that it's not totally empty.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Don't Text While Driving

PLEASE don't text while driving. OMG !! I'm sure many of you have heard of the train crash that occurred last week in California. Reportedly the conductor was text-messaging when he blew through the red light, which resulted in the crash. Twenty-five (25) people died, and many other people were seriously hurt. The worst train crash in California history. You may be wondering what this has to do with mental health. Well, as a mental health expert, I can tell you that it is bad for you (and your family) if you die or get hurt in an accident because you weren't paying complete attention while you were driving. And it's not just texting. Too many people are talking on the phone, or doing other things that distract them and are causing accidents. Now I'm not too old-fashioned. I know how important it is to have those phone conversations while driving around town; or eat that slice of pizza; or check the Internet on your laptop (or I-phone!). But you gotta keep at least one hand on the wheel and one eye on the road.

I am all in favor of multi-tasking. I think people don't realize that driving itself requires multi-tasking, though after a while it seems to become something that you can almost do without thinking. Too many people do that. And then you throw in there other activities that do require your attention, and before you know it someone else makes a mistake that requires your attention and quick reflexes and it's OVA. My suggestion when you have something else to do when you're driving, is to pull over to the side of the road, stop the car, and do what you gotta do. That would be safer for you and me. Now if you get a text that you have to answer (of course if it was an emergency they would have called!), pull over and quickly text them: IDN (I'm driving now) TTYL!