Thursday, January 29, 2015


First thing you have to know is that you can't do it by yourself. For this Marriage Repair plan to work your partner HAS to participate. Just like they did in helping you get to this point. It would also help (a lot) if you still love each other.

1. Establish a time frame within which each of you agree to work hard to fix the marriage. 3, 6, 12 months. Whatever works best for you. Of course you'll monitor progress during that time.

2. No arguing. It's Ok to disagree. But discuss, and not fight. End the discussion if it looks to be turning into a fight.  Revisit and resolve the problem at a less heated time.

3. You both identify 3 things: (1)what you like that your partner does and want them to keep doing, (2) what you want them to do more of, and   (3) what you want them to do less of. Then do what your partner asks.

4. Commit 100% to the plan.

5. Give each other the benefit of the doubt. Assume each other is trying their best, even when it feels like you're trying harder.

6. IMPROVE COMMUNICATION. Yes, this is the most important part of your plan. It may be the most difficult. Not arguing will help. Listen, listen, listen. Repeat back to your partner what you heard them say before you respond.

7. No mind-reading. Even though you "know" what they're thinking. This will give them room to change.

8. Overdo the attention, affection, and appreciation. Say 'thank you' more. Say 'I love you' more. Even if you have to fake it until you feel it.

9. Date night (or day) at least once a week. This helps remind you of how much you can enjoy each other.


SPECIAL NOTE: Passionate, loving, mutually satisfying sex can help facilitate the relationship repair.

It's always best to be focused on the present, and on your happiness moving forward. Leave the past behind, and consider forgiveness (for yourself and your partner) as needed.

Please feel free to comment, or ask questions here or on Facebook

Also with Valentines Day coming (February 14th), you'll want to get started on your repair work.  Just sayin'...