EASIER-THAN-IT-LOOKS RECIPE: Mom's Pizza Spaghetti (Baked Spaghetti)

This is a recipe that my mother used to make when I was a kid growing up in the Bronx. Usually it was a Saturday meal, which could be reheated during the week. I used to love it. It's basically a baked spaghetti recipe. However, my eating habits have changed since then so, for example, I don't eat white pasta. I don't eat meat. Fortunately, reasonable substitutes for those things exist (though I'm sure using those foods in this recipe will still work for you if you like.) But I do have two products to suggest that you consider. I call them healthy alternatives.

The Myth of Tofu (Soybean Products)

I know a lot of people cringe at the thought of eating tofu or soy products. It really didn't used to taste good. Nowadays there are tofu products that do actually taste good to me, that I have been eating for years now. Many of you have heard of "Boca Burgers." Many current and former meat eaters like them as a healthy substitute for your local fastfood burger. I personally prefer Morningstar Farms products. They and others make burgers, hot dogs, chicken cutlets, sausage, ribs, cold cuts, cheese substitute ,even bratwurst. Now, I don't eat all of that stuff, but a lot of it is very good. I definitely say to try it.

I generally use whole wheat pastas, but there is another soy product I want to suggest that you try. It's called Shirataki Noodles. They are pasta shaped noodles (spaghetti, etc.) that are made from tofu. So they taste the same as pasta, especially with spaghetti sauce, except it doesn't do the diet damage that pasta (carbohydrates) does. I use whole wheat spaghetti in this recipe, but the shirataki noodles is a reasonable substitute.

This dish reheats well, and is low calorie, and low fat (unless you use ground beef, but even then it should be lean). Whole wheat is a healthy carb (the fiber is good for you). The shiratake noodles would make it lower carb, and higher protein. Enjoy it. It is easier than it looks. Let me know what you think.

MOM'S PIZZA SPAGHETTI

INGREDIENTS
1 pound Morningstar Farms Crumble (vegetarian ground beef substitute)
1 (16 ounce) jar spaghetti sauce
1 pound whole wheat spaghetti
1 cup shredded mild Cheddar cheese
1 cup low-fat shredded mozzarella cheese
2 teaspoons of oregano (and other spices are optional, depending on your taste; I like a little pepper, garlic, and basil)



DIRECTIONS


Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In large skillet, cook crumble substitute until brown. Mix in the spices. Mix spaghetti sauce into the skillet. Reduce heat and simmer.
Meanwhile, bring a large pot of water to a boil. Mix in pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until cooked to your taste; drain.
Mix together cooked spaghetti, crumble and spices mixture, and half of both cheeses, and pour into 9x13 pan. Top with the remaining cheese and bake for 30 minutes, or until thoroughly heated and the cheese is bubbly.

Religion and Politics (Shhh...Don't Say Anything)

Right up front I'll say, that I know it's not "politically correct" to talk or write about religion or politics. I'm told that as a psychotherapist I may unduly influence people in a particular direction. Actually, I am concerned more about how much these two subjects divide people. I mean, a perfectly good evening can turn into a battleground when someone brings up either of these subjects. Unfortunately, sometimes it seems that people search for differences between themselves and others, when really we all have much more in common than not. With the celebration of holy days this week, and the election primary show we get to witness all day, everyday, they've both been on my mind. I'm going to take a chance and share my thoughts on these subjects.

My religion is love, compassion, trust, happiness and hope. These are the things I pray for, to live these things as completely as possible. My politics are peace, equality, health, prosperity, and love of this country. My vote is going to be for these things. I'm not going to vote for war, division, fear, arrogance, and dishonesty. A problem arises when people's religious beliefs, politics, and lifestyle are in conflict. I mean, saying you believe in one thing and practicing another. I understand why that happens. People have thinking and behaving habits that have developed during their lives, much of which got started in childhood. We had no control over that. Fortunately, as adults we do have control over the choices we make. When our beliefs would have us go in one direction, and our actions take us elsewhere we can develop emotional, relationship, or health problems. For example, we feel (and even say) we love someone. Then we're mean to them. Or we pray for peace, but vote for war. We say we believe that "all men (and woman) are created equal." Then we mistreat a person because they look differently, or talk differently, or even pray differently than we do. The psychologists call this cognitive dissonance , and it can hurt us.

Ok. There it is. One more thing. If you're trying to teach your children your religious beliefs, and/or political values, they're going to get a mixed message if you're not trying to live those values also. And the old parent saying about doing what I say, and not what I do... doesn't work. Especially for teenagers. To them it seems, h-y-p-o-c-r-i-t-i-c-a-l. So I don't mean to "unduly" influence you, but I do mean to give you something to think about. I trust that you'll make the choices that work for you and your family.

LET YOURSELF BE

Give yourself permission to be free. Release yourself from your own captivity.

Love yourself, and then you'll see.

You WILL be free as free can be!

Skeletons, baggage, your shadow too...

They don't have to dictate what you do.

Let it go.

Free is the sea as it slaps the open beach,

fluid, unrestricted, as the tide extends its reach.

Free is your chi when you let it breath.

Release the ties that keep you bound to your limits.

Outside of the Box is where your freedom sits.

Slavery is dead when you kill it in your head.

It will not die until you open your mind's eye,

To the possibilities in store for you as you explore.

A closet is a small dark place, hide in it. But is it safe?

Or perhaps it's a trap which confines your being.

Doesn't the box that you're living in limit your seeing

the light of your life shining within, the glow of your dreams illuminating your vision?

Freedom is creating your own bold creation.

fly high and be free, dive deep beneath the sea.

Open your life to your possibilities.

Place the wind in your sail, or beneath your wings.

Live the song in your heart, liberate your being.

And when you let it be free, isn't love the best?

You feel its thunder deep in your chest.

Unencumbered by fear, jealousy, suspicion and all the rest.

Move forward with life, let yourself be...

Love, Trust, Care, Hope.

Have the audacity to be free.

Psych 101: OCD

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder causes a lot of discomfort for people. In the DSM-IV obsessions are described as "persistent ideas, thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety and distress." The person experiences these obsessions as being not under their control, though is aware that they have created them (not like "hearing" voices). Common obsessions are about being contaminated by germs, repeated doubts (for example, having left a door unlocked), a need to have things in a particular order (people refer to a milder form of this as being "anal"), aggressive impulses (eg. hurting someone), and disturbing sexual images. People suffering from OCD try to neutralize the persistent thoughts with compulsive behaviors. For example, the concern about germs may trigger compulsive hand washing. "Compulsions are repetitive behaviors or mental acts (e.g. praying, counting, repeating words silently) the goal of which is to prevent or reduce anxiety or distress." These compulsions feel like things that you HAVE to do. Go back and check the door over and over to make sure it's locked before you can go out; or checking the stove repeatedly long after you should be in bed because you're obsessing about the house burning down; or spending hours washing your hands (obsessing about germs); being in a meeting and counting the ceiling tiles (or the dots on the speaker's tie).



There are a lot of theories about how we get OCD. I don't think people are born with it. They may be prone to it (ie. the "in-the-genes" theory), but mostly people learn it. We're effected by the influences of the care taking people close to us as children, as well as by traumatizing events. And we typically get a lot of practice with the thinking and behavior patterns. I've discussed my theory about habits before (see my blog posting of 9/14/07, on Anger Management).


To treat people with OCD is interesting for me, and enjoyable to see the client's progress, to see the reduction in suffering. It requires a lot of work. My primary goal is to teach the person to interrupt the chain of events (including thoughts and feelings) that trigger the obsessions and/or compulsions, and retrain the part of the brain that's responsible to respond differently. Dr. Jeffery Schwartz and Sharon Begley in The Mind and The Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force, explain the "plasticity" (changeability) of the brain. I train the client in self-hypnosis, in order for them to learn to replace the anxiety with relaxation. And a lot of practice, first in their head (imagining the situations), then "in vivo" (in real life). We also discuss the early childhood family dynamics that helped lay the foundation for developing this illness . So there are definitely solutions to the conditions of our lives that distress us. It is up to you to find those answers, and with it (hopefully) the happiness that you deserve.

EASIER-THAN-IT-LOOKS RECIPE: My Tuna Noodle Casserole

When I was growing up my mother had certain meals that she cooked on Saturday for me, my 3 brothers, and my Dad. Both of my parents worked during the week, so there were not a lot of "special meals" during the week (My older brothers were good at making the hotdogs and baked beans, or heating things up).Tuna Noodle Casserole was one of the Saturday 'specials' that I really liked. There was also chile con carne and rice, and something I called Spaghetti Pizza (Baked spaghetti). When my father had to work on Saturdays, about once a month, he would bring home a couple of pizzas for dinner. New York Pizza is really the best in the world. Sadly, for now, I haven't been able to eat it or other white carbs much lately. When we go to NYC I do allow myself to go to Koronet Pizza shop (110th St and Broadway), to eat a slice they sell that is 3 times the size of a normal slice. I'm looking forward to our trip up in June.

Anyway, I call it 'My' Tuna Noodle Casserole because I made some changes in the recipe to accomodate my changed diet. Mom would use egg noodles (white pasta), and butter (or probably margarine) which is not really necessary for me. We had not had this dish in a long time, and tried it again recently. Really liked it. You should try it. Make changes if you want. You can make it "Your" Tuna Noodle Casserole.

MY TUNA NOODLE CASSEROLE

Ingredients (serves 4 people)

1. 2 cups of cooked whole wheat noodles (or other whole wheat pasta)

2. 1 can of Cream of Mushroom Soup (they make this with reduced salt)

3. 1/2 cup milk

4. 2 6 oz. cans of tuna (I prefer tuna in water, drained, or rinsed if it's in oil)

5. (optional) bread crumbs, and 1 tablespoon of melted butter

6. (also optional) I like spices, so add your favorite ones, for example oregano, garlic, pepper, a little worcestershire sauce

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees

2. Mix soup, milk, tuna and spices (if using them) in a bowl

3. Put cooked noodles in a 1 1/2 quart casserole dish

4. Stir the soup mixture into the casserole dish with the noodles

5. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 mins. or until hot.

6. (optional) mix bread crumbs with butter, and sprinkle on top. Bake for 5 more min.

It's easier to make than it looks, and is good to eat after reheating a few days later. Enjoy!

PSYCH 101: Dysthymic Disorder

I don't like labeling people. My preference is for using labels, or diagnoses (that I'll be discussing in Psych 101), to describe collections of behaviors and/or thinking (and feeling) patterns, and/or ways of relating to people, that interfere with ones pursuit of a happy life. My way of thinking about this helps guide my Cognitive-Behavioral treatment approach. In Psych 101 I won't focus so much on the origins of the bad habits/patterns, though I am very familiar with them. My focus will be explaining the diagnosis, as defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV-TR), and offer some suggestions about treatment, the way I would do it.



"Dysthymic Disorder [is described as] a chronically depressed mood that occurs for most of the day more days than not for at least two years. In children the mood may be irritable, instead of depressed" for at least a year. I describe it as a mild depression (as opposed to a major depression), and it can influence sleep, appetite, energy level, self-esteem, cause poor concentration, difficulty making decisions, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, negativity, pessimism, and self-isolation. Sounds pretty bad. It feels bad too.



Treatment can be successful without the use of medication, though I often suggest the use of St. John's Wort (a tea/herb) along with counseling. Recovery from Dysthymic Disorder can be difficult because it requires changing certain thinking, feeling, and behavior patterns at a time that the person is feeling low energy and motivation, feelings of helplessness and pessimism. And, as you know, habits are hard to break. You have to push yourself. Take a small step to start, and be persistent. It helps to have a support system, even though you don't want to be around people. Socialize, exercise, find other activities that distract you from the depressed thoughts and feelings. Learn to balance the negative thinking with positive thoughts and optimism. Often the feelings are triggered by unresolved grief. Explore that possibility, and commit to resolving those feelings of loss (and associated anger, guilt, and sadness) by talking and/or writing about them. The biggest culprit, I think, of triggering the depression is an overload of stress. Examine the sources of stress in your life, and control it better. You know my feeling about this. If happiness is not a part of your life you have got to fix that. If you suffer from Dysthymic Disorder, try some of the things I suggest here (also see my MENTAL NOTES blog of March 4, 2007, "Curing Depression...").

Fix Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem, simply put, is how you feel about yourself. It is a general sense of who you are as a person, though often people base that "general sense" of themselves on a specific aspect of who they are. For example, self-esteem may be based on who they are as a mate, a parent, a worker, or an athlete. So for them, being good or bad at one of these roles, dictates a high or low self-esteem. In reality though, it goes deeper than that. The self-esteem we've developed growing up, influences how we perceive our effectiveness in the roles that we choose. A good example is how some of our successful entertainers, who seem bent on self-destruction, pretty obviously don't love themselves in spite of their talents. Apparently, they have low self-esteem. Aside from those extreme examples, I think most of us have self-esteem issues in certain aspects of our lives. The problem is allowing that to negatively influence our view of ourselves. I mean, if we don't feel good about who we are we tend to perform less effectively. We may also tend to accept unacceptable treatment in relationships (for example, from our partner, boss, coworkers, or even our children). The biggest influence on the self-esteem that we develop occurs in childhood, in our families, in our relationships with our parents and other important people in our lives.

So, how do you fix it without going back in time? And how do we make sure our kids learn to feel good about themselves, and develop high self-esteem?

1. Identify and acknowledge the things that you do well. Focus more on your strengths than your limitations.

2. Develop specific skills that you can feel confident and good about. In a recent article in Oprah's Magazine (January, 2008; we have a copy in the office if you want to come in to read it), they call it "self-mastery." I agree with their suggestion that increasing your level of self-mastery should be the goal, and is the answer to improving how you feel about yourself, raising your self-esteem.

3. Don't let one thing define you. And we often choose the one thing we may have difficulty with, and give it a lot more emotional attention than it deserves. For example, a man who is an incredible employee, husband, carpenter, son, brother and friend (to name a few), makes a parenting mistake and that reinforces any and all of the negative images the guy has of himself. Maybe because he didn't have a father, and always wanted to be the perfect parent when he grew up. Well now that you're grown you can give up that childhood fantasy, and settle for just being a good father (or husband, manager, etc.).

These recommendations work for your kids too. Don't give them empty praise, suggesting that they're good at everything. Give them realistic praise and encouragement for things that they do well. Also, you can help them find things that they can learn to do well. And work hard at finding good things about your child to praise them for. Now, if you can't find at least a few good things about yourself or your child, come in for a session.