It's true. And, as you probably know, a bad marriage makes stress worse. A partner who expresses their love by being appreciative of you, attentive, and considerate of your needs helps you feel more confident, and in control of your life. Too much stress makes our lives feel out of control. We need to have at least one area of our life that is predictible, safe, and where we are acknowledged as being valuable and important. Our home should be that place. When an individual that you love makes a personal commitment to loving you and sharing their life with you, it makes everything else better. Friendships are great for this reason too. However, after 'doing battle' all day in a stressful world, coming home to a loving hug helps rejuvenate you. Lets you know that the daily stresses you experience are NOT what's most important about your life. Love and happiness are. So if you are in a relationship that is not working, that's adding stress rather than relieving it, MAKE A CHANGE. Make peace. Don't take your partner for granted. Don't let things (between you two) bother you so much. Stop making the same mistakes of communication. Listen more. Forgive more. When a problem arises, act as if you are both on the same side to solve it, even if you have differing views. Pay attention to your partners' feelings, even more than their words. And acknowledge some of the good things about them (don't just keep pointing out the negatives). Show your love to your partner in everything you do with them (even when you're angry). Say 'I love you' as much as possible.
2 comments:
I think what you are saying about relationships here is just great, however, it seems to differ from what you advised my spouse and I during therapy.
I got the feeling that you tend to agree more with the male point of view than with a woman's point of view.
I don't agree with the comment above. I consider you to be a fair and balanced counselor. You helped my husban and I tremendusly.
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