PSYCH 101: Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is described by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) as "a pattern of negativistic, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least 6 months" (in a child or adolescent) which includes at least 4 of the following: often loses temper, often argues with adults, noncompliance with adults' requests or rules, deliberately annoying people, often blames others for their own mistakes, is touchy or easily annoyed, often angry and resentful, is often spiteful or vindictive. Also this behavior severely interferes with the child's functioning in the various important areas of his or her life, including family, social, and academic functioning. This young person also has significant problems with authority figures, for example parents, teachers, coaches and other adults.




It is difficult to identify any one particular reason that a child develops ODD. Usually as an infant they were irritable, colicky, or difficult to soothe (but not necessarily). Children suffering from other problems, including ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, and learning disabilities can develop ODD, or similar behaviors or symptoms. A certain amount of oppositionalism is normal in the developing child (for example the "terrible twos"), and early adolescence is also a time when a certain amount of defiance or argumentativeness is normal. But ODD takes this behavior to an extreme. These children are typically not physically aggressive, but often are quite verbally aggressive.






What do you do if you have a child who seems to fit the above description, or has tendencies towards behaving defiantly beyond what is tolerable by you and your household? Because a kid who is angry all the time, or tends to "forget" rules or chores, or "didn't hear" you the 10 times that you gave an instruction and then gets mad at you for reprimanding their disobedience, can be very stressful. Once you acknowledge that you have a child with such issues, you have to change your approach. Yes, again, it falls on you the parent to make things right. Don't fight with them. In fact make it clear that the fighting is a problem, and develop alternative ways to resolve conflict. This will also help him or her learn healthy conflict resolution. Make sure that rewards for appropriate behavior, and negative consequences for oppositional behavior are in place, and understood by everyone. It helps a lot if your child has input into developing these. And although the rewards can flow as freely as you can manage, don't go overboard with the punishments. This means don't ground them nor take their toys/cell phone/etc. for too long. And be consistent, but flexible as needed. Your child should feel that they get the opportunity to try again to get it right. So praise their effort, and don't hold a grudge. Spend time listening, and talking to them about things that matter to them.





ODD describes behaviors of children and teens, but of course the habits that get developed can persist into adulthood. Handle this problem when they're young before they start getting into trouble with the law (or other authorities). They won't grow into that adult who has the anger management problem, is always losing their job, or having other problem relationships. Of course it will require patience. It really helps to have a same gender role model, who can calmly help point out the problems with this type of behavior and help develop alternative ways for the child to get their needs met.