LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX...

I was surprised when I noticed that I had written very little on this subject over the past 3 years of doing this blog. As a people, we think about it a lot (even triggered sometimes by tv commercials). We get involved in sexual fantasies and secrets. But we don't talk about it with our partners as much as we should. I don't want to generalize, but we are often reluctant to talk about it with the person we should feel closest to, and likely are (or should be) having sex with. Even in therapy sessions I find that it's difficult for people to address this subject, though it may be contributing to the problem(s) they've come in to resolve. I will sometimes teach people the words to use (and not use) to describe various aspects of sex.

Why is it important to be able to talk about sex? Well, it is an enjoyable, intimate part of a relationship. Usually the participants care about each other, and should be able to talk about any issue that involves them. It is an intense physical, and deeply emotional act, that sometimes doesn't work so well for a variety of reasons. In some cases, open and honest communication about this activity would require people to depend less on medicines, drugs, and alcohol in order to perform well. Perhaps if people were having enjoyable sex more with each other they would argue less, and cooperate more in other areas of their lives. Communicate better. Trust each other more.

My most important point here is about improving communication in a relationship, whether you are having sex or not. There are many other enjoyable aspects of happy relationships. If there are ANY areas of your relationship that cause you distress, or you are not as happy as you want (and deserve) to be, TALK ABOUT IT!

One more thing. By the time your child becomes a teenager, you should have had the "birds and bees talk." The updated version which includes a discussion of the value of abstinence, STD's, and contraception. If you can't do it, get some help with it.