Summer "School" (reposted)

There are so many ways to make this an enriching summer for your kids, it's not funny. But you can relax and have fun with it. I have written about this before (see my postings: Summer Play School, 5/11/08; School's Out Soon, What To Do, 5/20/07), that you can use the summer months off from school to help your child learn some things that they didn't get during the normal school year. This can include practice or remedial work in specific school subjects that they didn't do well in (or even moving ahead academically in preparation for the upcoming school year). You can help them learn behavioral skills, like organization, study skills, impulse control, focus and concentration. You can help them improve their social/emotional development, IE. anger management, personal responsibility, empathy, self-esteem, unresolved grief work. And even though these are serious concerns, they (and you) can have fun with it. I develop these types of plans with families that I work with. But you can do it on your own. Get creative. Be patient.


Teenagers can be the most difficult to "trick" into learning something you want them to learn. It is best to collaborate with them on their personal growth "project." They'll appreciate you respecting their input, and be less inclined to fight you on it. In fact, you can let them take the lead, after you agree on the goals. This also gives you an opportunity to improve communication between you two, without the additional stress of school (IE. school expectations and responsibilities). Pre-teens and younger children can be easier, as "play" is a primary mode of functioning for them. You will be more effective gaining their participation if it's in play mode. For young and old children, rewards that are meaningful TO THEM will facilitate your success.



By the end of the summer, be sure to acknowledge your child's efforts, emphasizing the progress they've made. Celebrate them. Then develop the goals, plans and rewards for the upcoming school year. The time and energy that you put into it beforehand will help minimize the frustrations that you both experience during the year. The summer break should be a time away from the demands of school for you and your child. It is also an opportunity for you both.

Plan Your Summer (Now)

Isn't it time you took a vacation? Or planted that garden? Or even got in touch with that relative that you've been angry at, and agree to forgive and forget? Hey, maybe it's time to check on your progress with those New Year's resolutions that you made a few months ago. Recently, there's been a lot of things to feel bad about. Of course you could get into a negative head. DON'T DO IT!! [see my posting of 3/11/08, The Glass Is Not Empty] Use this summer to do something good for yourself.


For example, for the past couple of years I've suggested that parents plan a summer in which they work with their kids on overcoming an obstacle, or developing a skill (Summer Play School, 5/11/08; School's Out, What To Do, 5/20/07). How about we all choose something to work on this summer. PLEASE take my word for it, some small change, for a few weeks can have long lasting, beneficial results. Here are some examples...

1. Let's say, you're a smoker. You know it's not good for you, but you like it. How about you see if you can survive for 30 days, smoking 1 less cigarette per day. So if you smoke a pack-a-day, try smoking 1 less per day (19 instead of 20) for a month. In about 3 weeks you'll have saved a pack's worth (about $5?). If you can reduce 1 more cigarette (per day) per month for 9 more months, you'll be down to 1/2 a pack-a-day. At that point you could just enjoy feeling more energy (maybe less coughing and throat irritation, improved skin tone, etc.), or decide about quitting completely.



2. If you're trying to drop some weight, like me, then perhaps you can use these next 2 months to experiment with some eating, and/or exercise changes. Make a goal of losing 1 pound per week. That's a good small step. 10 pounds by September 1. Then decide if the diet/exercise change is too much to maintain. If not, you could be down 20 lbs. by the end of November. Down 25 lbs. by the end of the year.



3. You know how important I think stress management is (Stress, It Adds Up, 9/28/08; Take A Moment, ..Breathe, 10/10/07; A Happy Marriage..., 6/25/07 ; Managing Stress At The Job, 3/16/07) Try something new to manage your stress for the summer. Keep a journal and see what ideas come to you about getting unstuck in an area of your life (see The "Jump Start Your Life" Plan..., 2/6/09).



4. Have a Summer Date Night once a week.



5. Take a computer course.

Take the opportunity this summer to do something different, fun, and life enhancing...

Summer Play School

Last year, in May, I posted a blog suggesting that parents use their kid's summer vacation as a time to help their child brush up on aspects of their academics or behavior that were causing them difficulty in school. It is a great idea for this summer too. Several of the families I worked with last summer on developing their "summer play school" plans saw improvement in their child's performance this school year. The initial complaint is usually that children (and parents) deserve a break from school work during the summer. Well, I think we all deserve a break from school work whenever we can get it. But, first of all, the work can be very well disguised as play. And second of all, if you don't put the time in now (during the summer break), you'll likely have to put in much more during the school year, when you actually have less time. Do this stuff even on the trips you take. Offer good enough incentives, and your child will be eager to "play school."


In addition to good incentives, I have a few other suggestions. Identify the areas of concern, for example, studying habits, organization, daydreaming, attention-seeking, hyperactivity, social skills, forgetfulness, conflict with peers or teachers, impulsivity, test taking, peer pressure etc. Next, develop play activities for your child that simulate the school situation. Role-playing is a good example. Your child can imagine being that kid that can't stay in his seat for 5 minutes. Through acting (role-play), with good enough incentives, he can prepare to perform much better when school starts. If it's 15 minutes a day, and fun (and don't forget the REWARDS), he'll break some old bad school habits and develop some new, more helpful ones. You should have several things that your child works on even though they may not be specific problems. Reading, writing, math, internet research, and any of the areas that you want them to learn new skills in, or to keep their skills fresh. Still, make it enjoyable for them. If you have to fight them to gain their participation, you have to get more creative. Fighting is not fun. Make the plans together with your young'un, even before school ends. As you're planning the summer's activities. If you need help, give me a call. (Also remember to read the "Back-To-School" Series from last summer to further prepare your child for a successful school year next year.)